The kids are watching a movie, my wife has retired to our bedroom with complaints of a migraine (possibly brought on by the aforementioned kids), and I am left sitting alone in the living room on my favorite chair to contemplate some of life’s greatest and most elusive questions. As I consider some of these questions, a few keep resurfacing to the top and I can’t seem to get a conclusive answer from my vast and thorough research. (This research consists mainly of me staring slack jawed at the ceiling for long periods of time.)
So, what are these questions? Well here is one: why do cola companies insist on sticking with the round soda can even though I’m sure they have noticed that 98% of the coolers and refrigerators on the market are square or rectangle? Do young mosquitoes know that they come from a long line of hated, disease-carrying, good-for-nothing, blood suckers? Then of course there is the age-old debate that has been provoking many to strong argument and even a few, under the right circumstances, to an all-out fight. This dispute has been around since that fateful day long ago when Daniel Charmin forgot to bring a “wipe” with him on a visit to the outhouse, and was consequently forced to use one of the corn cobs that was so thoughtfully provided by the outhouse owner. He immediately saw the need and market for a soft, disposable wipe. He contacted his good friend David Scott and they started a company to produce and sell toilet paper. The first few trial runs were very course and brittle. Daniel felt that in texture, they were not unlike the corn cob that had inspired this whole thing. (Note: some of these early rolls are still around today and can usually be found in use in many public restrooms.) Before they could strike it rich off their new venture, the friends had a falling out and parted company on less than great terms. Charmin went on to perfect his idea and still has a healthy business to this day. Scott on the other hand took the original TP recipe and developed a very effective and useful product we know today as wax paper. What was the argument that drove these two friends apart? Only one of the most controversial issues of the modern world, the same one that has plagued me for the last 10 minutes: should TP be placed on the holder in an “over” or “under” orientation?