Flies…

Well, I’m finally back.  Yup, back by popular deman…uhh popular indifference might be the correct term.  Our summer has been so packed with lots of fun and exciting things (some much less exciting and fun than others) that I just didn’t take the time to update.  So please don’t think that our lives are boring and uneventful.  (no contradictory comments from the those of you that really know us, please).  So I was sitting there on my beach chair looking up at the beautifully painted sky including hues of purple and dark red as the sun slipped silently beneath the horizon of gently rolling waves of the bluest water you have ever seen, when a thought struck me:  what really is a fly good for? (besides the obvious answer of spreading disease and pestilence and landing on your fresh grilled hamburger after having completed some sweaty calisthenics on the manure pile.)   OK, I might have lied a little bit there, about the whole beach chair and sunset thing, not about the fly thing.  In reality I was sitting there on my lazy boy ™ in our living room where in all honesty the only scenery to speak of is a very plaid sofa complete with matching wall.  But I did wonder about the flies as I was trying to relax and read the latest issue of Bowhunter magazine when all the flies in the house simultaneously decided to annoy me.  Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with my personality I must stress here that I am a very easy-going fun-loving kind of guy.  I have even on occasion been referred to as: laid-back.  In short it takes quite a bit to get me riled up but those 17 flies sure got it done.  As soon as I shooed them away and started reading again they were back.  Some of them landed bravely on my face and I would swing at them only to miss completely the only damage I was inflicting was to my face.  Others chose the dive bombing technique the goal here as I understand it is to dive at my ears but never land long enough to give me the chance to swat them.  They all seemed to be enjoying their sport of “drive the man insane” and I would have to admit that some were very good at it.  I think what irritates me the most is that when I finally got up out of my comfortable chair and stomped off in search of a fly swatter they all disappeared so completely that I couldn’t find one to take out my boiling rage on.  But one of the good things about having a “laid-back” type personality is that I can hold a grudge for a long time so I have taken up a new hobby in the past several months.  I call it: fly hunt’n.  it mainly consists of me sitting in ambush waiting for the little ^#^&% to come out of hiding so I can blast them with my 12 gauge swatter.  For those of you interested in taking up the sport here are a few tips that I have found work very well.  Camouflage: I have found I can become almost invisible by donning a plaid shirt and sitting on the sofa.  Hunting water holes: set out a nice cold glass of your favorite soda and wait for the fun to begin.  Last but definitely  not least is Baiting: this is one of my most successful tactics.  I wait until my lovely wife is trying to relax on the lazy boy then I stalk within swatting range and let them have it.  Note: baiting may be illegal in your state or county.  In my case, I found out the hard way that it was illegal in our house.  Another note: it might be best to inform the “bait” as to the possible outcome of the hunt.  On my last hunt the in-house conservation officer confiscated all my weapons and sentenced me to 3 days hard labor of yard work. 


So as you can see, my life has been way too full of fun and exciting things for me to update my site.  But I will try to do better and I promitmjbuihnbil;.re,bu,mn  oops sorry about that but a fly just landed on my keyboard and I couldn’t resist.


Gotta go but I  hope you have a better summer than I’m having!!!

10 thoughts on “Flies…

  1. snicker.. i just got an email bout circle flies in texas… they are so called cause they r usually seen circling around the rear end of a horse…. hmm, does make a person wonder???!!!!

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  2.   Micah and Natalie had little Olivia Kate this afternoon. Thought you might want to know, plus I’m a grandma, you have to tell everybody that will listen. There’s a picture on natover’s site……….

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